(Chelsea Update would like to thank Kristin Krarup-Joyce, Ed. S. NCSP, Ellen Kent, Ed. S. NCSP and Emily Verbeke, Ed. S. NCSP for the information in this weekly column. If you have a question for one of the school psychologists, please email [email protected]. All information will be kept confidential.)
Life is so busy these days. We are always on the go – and plugged- in. Instead of looking at the clouds while waiting for the kids to get off the bus, we click through other people’s vacation pictures. Our children rarely just lie down and think.
According to Peter Toohey, a professor at the University of Calgary in Alberta and author of Boredom: A Lively History, “boredom makes us look inward. It creates a fertile state for creativity and self-awareness …”
Teresa Belton, Ph.D., a researcher in the School of Education and Lifelong Learning at the University of Anglia in England, notes that those times when we are bored spur us into creativity. She notes that many artists and authors credit tedium as a source of inspiration. (Please see the full article in February’s “Real Simple” for an interesting study.)
Laura Markham, Ph.D., finds that today’s culture, which often rushes kids from one adult-led activity to another, has resulted in a generation with higher anxiety.
Other psychologists note that children need unstructured time to explore their imaginations.
Rather than rush to find a solution the next time your child complains that she is bored, try one of these approaches:
Figure out what “I’m bored” means. It could mean that your child wants your undivided attention. Stop and focus on him, and him only, for five minutes. Or, it could mean something else entirely. “I’m bored” in math class could be your son’s way of saving face when he doesn’t understand the material.
Resign as cruise director; become coach. Help your child brainstorm a list of things to do. Then, ask her which one she thinks would be fun to do. Step back and let her decide what to do. Remember, it’s not your job to play, too. Keep the list on the refrigerator for the next time she is bored.
Make transitional periods distraction-free. Let them just gaze out the window on short car rides – no phones or devices for trips under 10 or 15 minutes.
Dare to let yourself be bored. Resist checking your cell phone when waiting to pick up your child from a sports practice. Use mundane tasks (like washing dishes or peeling potatoes) as time to let your mind structure that important memo or decorate that birthday cake. Finally, when you are alone in a coffee shop, try not to sit hunched over your device. “Sit up straight. Smile. Breathe deeply. Emanate an aura of contentment.”
