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Trinh Pifer’s story of arriving and surviving in America

File photo. Trihn Pifer, retired executive director of the Chelsea Senior Center, talks to the Chelsea Lions Club.

By Amy Heydlauff

On the heels of the column about failing forward, Trinh Pifer told me a story about her early life.

Many of you know Trinh, the retiring Director of the Chelsea Senior Center. Even those of you outside Chelsea know her through her senior and other outreach efforts in all five of our healthy towns. However, few of us know how she came to be an American.

When Trinh was five, she and her family escaped Saigon, during its fall. Her harrowing story includes escape onto the sea in a small boat; a rescue by an American naval ship; and life in several refugee camps before a church in Walled Lake sponsored her family and they came to Michigan.

When Trinh started school, she could not speak English. And she didn’t feel very welcome. She told me she was feisty even then, and made up her mind, she wasn’t staying in school. Many of us know what happens when a feisty child makes up her mind. She can make everyone pretty miserable.

Miserable or not, her parents said (in Vietnamese) “Tough luck, little Trinh. Learning to speak English and being educated in the public school system, an amazing American asset, is the only choice we are allowing you to make. For your own good.”

There was zero chance she’d be able to communicate or connect with her classmates at first. Her parents actually set her up for short term failure. How painful that must have been for them, even though they knew it would likely assure a successful future for her.

This story about her young life helps explain why she is such an effective problem solver. From an early age, she had to figure out how to make life work and how to take advantage of opportunities. Unlike most of us, Trinh knows what a failed society looks like. She knows about harrowing escapes and generosity in the midst of discrimination (or perhaps discrimination in the midst of generosity).

As much as failing forward, her family stumbled forward, making one tough decision after the other. Giving up many things. They did the hard work of assimilating into a world they knew to be better than what they left behind, even if the new place wasn’t always nice.

Trinh’s family message is a challenging one for us. It is a classic ‘the devil you know or the devil you don’t?’ If we choose to live the way we currently live our results will be the same. If it’s not working and we decide to get into that small boat, the waters ahead may be rough.

I admire Trinh and her family for the work they did to find a better life. Her story demonstrates that life changing work can be harder, sometimes scarier, than we’d like. And more rewarding than we can hope.

I, for one, am grateful Trinh’s family got into that boat. They benefited and so did their new communities.

Take care, little Trinh. Your life-long journey of risk and reward continues. And it continues with good wishes from all of us.

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11 thoughts on “Trinh Pifer’s story of arriving and surviving in America”

  1. Trinh, you are so special to me. I admire your courage and fortitude. You are a true survivor in every sense of the word. Thank you for the work you have given to the community of Chelsea. We have all benefited from your presence. You have become a mentor to many, myself included. I wish you the best in life. You will always be remembered by this community as a whole.

  2. Dear Trinh, I feel privileged to know you and share your many stories especially the ones involving your girls. Can’t believe those little girls are all grown up and one getting married…yikes
    Stay strong, I will be praying for you and your difficult battle.
    Best,
    Barbara

  3. Amy, this is beautifully written! Thank you! Trinh is an awesome person and we’re so lucky she settled in Chelsea. She’s made life better for so many people. She’s made Chelsea a better place to live.

    1

  4. Trinh – You made Chelsea Senior Center what it is today…a fantastic place. I am so proud to call you my friend.
    Till we meet again…..
    Joan

  5. Trinh
    You are an inspiration. Thank you for all you have done to serve our region’s older adults. I am so proud to have been gifted with the opportunity to serve with you. Blessings and prayers, my friend.
    Wendy Brightman

  6. Amy, thank you for writing this.
    Trinh, thank you for all you have done for this community.

  7. My dear friend Trinh, you have given so much to our community with such kindness and generosity! We are truly blessed to have you in our lives.

  8. Trinh, you know that we in the VFW think very highly of you. The best of luck to you and enjoy your retirement.

  9. Trinh,
    Even though I have only known you a short time, I wish you the best of luck in retirement. Our community is so lucky to have had all of your outreach and assistance.

    Bless you for your service to Chelsea!

  10. Trinh–
    I have always admired you, but this “back story” of your early life multiplies my admiration ten fold. Thank you for all your contributions to Chelsea and beyond!

    Blessings to you in this next leg of the journey.

  11. Trinh,
    So sad to see you go!I did not make it to your farewell parties to give you a
    big hug..But you were a terrific addition to the Senior Center you made a
    big change the past years and will be sorely missed by all..
    Your dear friend,
    Frank Pignanelli

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