April 8, my world was knocked off its axis.
I went from thinking “something was off” with my left eye to a “blind-ingly” shocking diagnosis and hours of extensive surgery – all in a space of a couple days.
And, it would be a gross understatement to say I didn’t handle any of it very stoically. I pretty much ripped my retina in half and damaged a few other key eye parts needed for vision in my left eye as well. And the perplexing thing was that I did nothing to cause it to happen … except to get longer in the tooth, or old, if you will. I didn’t play any contact sports. I didn’t get beaned in the head. I was just living my life.
But, apparently, like everything else in my life – far be it for me to do something half-way. Nope. All or nothing, that’s how I roll.
With no pain and the false narrative in my mind’s eye that I could see just fine … when reality bit me – processing it all and trying to plan for post-surgical life in a very short amount of time was quite challenging.
So, thank you to all the readers who stopped by with food, called, sent cards and emails and texts and commented on my Facebook post. Your well wishes mean the world to me. And while I have your attention, I hope you will continue to be patient because complete recovery will take months. (I’m also “looking at” a second surgery in the next couple months, too.)
I’d also like to thank Marcia Cavan, Richard Eyster, Nancy Jennings, and Crystal and Don Hayduk, Elizabeth and Ross Richardson for jumping in and helping. These friends got me to multiple eye appointments, the grocery and drug store. They prepared food, helped with chores and most importantly, took care of my two primary caregivers, Aidan and Buzz.
In case you missed it, following surgery, I had to lay on my right side for 45 minutes of every hour for more than a week. And, I couldn’t do a whole lot without assistance. So, take it from me, 15 minutes of “free time” goes really fast.
Did I mention no screen time, no reading, no stitching, pretty much “do nothing” for those 45 minutes?
But I did a lot of thinking. Which posed its own separate set of issues as I fixated on the few things in my life I could control.
They became obsessions.
Stupid things like the hummingbird feeders had to go out on April 15 because my favorite little birds had crossed into Michigan on their northern migration. I wanted to make sure they had plenty of food when they made a pitstop here.
Or that both my lawn tractors were working – even though I can’t mow.
Stuff like that.
On top of this, there was a serious disconnect between what I was thinking and how I explained it. Like there was a 5-second delay; things weren’t in sync. My eyes and my brain were orbiting at different speeds and there was no overlap. That, I think, was the most frustrating aftermath.
But, as each new sunrise appears, things get a little better. I feel better. My eye isn’t as sore. And, I have my appetite back.
I still can’t see out of my left eye but within the next three weeks some of my vision should return.
Although I’ve now been released from “captivity” into the wild – and was cleared to resume my normal life, I’m still taking it very slowly. I’ve always listened to my body, and it’s beginning to tell me what it’s capable of doing and what it’s not. In real time without the taped delay.
I will get as many stories edited and written as I can, and that will have to be good enough for the next couple months. So if you can please get your press releases to me in plenty of time to get them published before your event, that would be really appreciated.
I’m still limiting the amount of time I look at screens as much as possible. And trying to read texts is really hard.
But all of this is only temporary and the prognosis for full vision is good, so I will do whatever it takes to have the best outcome.
(And owe my friends a lot of favors in the future, too.)
